March #21
Our March issues sort of write themselves: it's the kind of autumnal content that our city is extremely good at. The balloons and both the Boon Street Art festival and the Festival of the Weird are all annual staples, and they all happen in March. There’s also a heap of sporty things, as the heat eases, like the half marathon and the five-bridges swim.
We also caught up with councillor (and Shakespeare nerd) Louise Hutt, as she tells us the highlights of the Hamilton Arts Festival.
And a reminder that you have until the end of March to do our reader survey and go into the draw for a $100 Amphora voucher. On account of launching it right before we went on summer hiatus, you currently have pretty good odds at winning this, and it will help us a) bring you a better newsletter, and b) maybe even get a little sponsorship going. We are also very grateful for everyone who writes to tell us they’ve recommended us to people, or who write to us after an issue - and we put you all in the draw too.
Letters to the Assistant Sub Editor
Forced to sing for their supper, last month we poked some gentle fun at this new commercialised Hamilton Gardens, and their Valentine’s Day event where eleven couples were treated to a picnic, exclusive access to one of the enclosed gardens, and one 375ml bottle of bubbles, for $220 a head.
Reader Bron wrote to us to say: “I was just lounging about reading your latest email when my partner waltzes in carrying a 6-pack of chilli-margs (!?!) apparently we are pre-loading before our ‘exclusive’ gourmet in the garden experience tonight... I mean, your meme is bang on, a tiny bottle of bubbles, why even bother?! Maybe we can buy more…”. Shucks.
But she continues, “I just want to say that I'm actually ok with the high price of admission if just for the novelty factor… Ultimately I'm proud of the gardens for doing something like this, if it works well I hope it paves the way for more cool little events in the tron. I'm so here for it!”
We wholeheartedly agree with that. We tease because we care.
Scuttlebutt
Well, this must’ve been absolutely terrifying. A 90 year old is recovering from injuries after being charged by a steer which escaped from the Frankton stockyards, before generally running amok around the lakefront, as bystanders and armed cops tried to corral it. The animal was euthanised.
Rocket Coffee came in at number 62 of the Top 100 Coffee Shops on the globally compiled list and is the only NZ cafe to do so (which also seems weird that there weren’t more, but we’re proud to have some a local institution as first cab off the rank)
David Seymour has introduced legislation to extend parliamentary terms from three to four years. When the Waikato Times did a ring-around, there was broad support for the same at a local governance level.
Councilor Mark Donavan, last year in October, took another job (like, a really proper one as the New Zealand Sales Manager for Tetrapak) on top of his Hamilton East ward seat, his role as chairperson of the regulatory and hearings committee and deputy chairperson of the economic development committee. By January, he was making noises about resigning. He did so the morning before we went to press.
Incumbent mayor Paula Southgate is not standing for re-election, and talk of who will and won’t run has begun.
Honorary Hamiltonian Steven Braunius attended the new HamLit festival arm of the Hamilton Arts Festival apparatus. He was half impressed, anyway, in that true Braunius style.
Get to know your hosts Lisa and Brent Quarrie of Hayes Common a little better, in this profile.
Caffe Centrale is almost two decades old, owner and head chef Marco Scarpa took the Times through some of their dishes.
And we have some company in the Hamilton e-newsletter place - if you’re looking for a weekly list of what’s on, without the snark and our collective neuroses, head over to the Hello Hamilton substack, which comes out on Thursdays.
What’s on
IRL
The Boon Street Art festival, from 13 - 16 March, always leaves the city a little better than when it started. The associated sculpture trail is already lining the streets, and running until March 31.
If you’re a morning person, Hayes Common doing a silent disco, $10. Rudi’s will be there.
Pats in the Paddock, Sunday March 9, ten till noon in Hayes Paddock, where you can meet the foster dogs! Don’t forget that you need a BYO container for takeaway coffee at Hayes Common these days. The council is also running reduced price dog registrations through March.
If you have ever wandered around the gardens, unaware that the Medieval Faire was on that day, you’ll know its attendees are committed to the cause, or you thought you’d suddenly woken up in the 1400s and you were terrified you’d never make friends with any of these people once they realised you don’t know the first thing about blacksmithing or alchemy. It offers food, music, games, maypole, dancing and archery. March 9 - gold coin entry.
March 10 is the Big Bike Film Night - brings together a bunch of short films, all involving all sorts of bikes.
Perhaps you can think of the Kirikiriroa Festival of the Weird as the anti-matter to the Arts Festival just gone. Think street performances, art installations, retro gaming in Garden Place. Or perhaps a polymer sculpting class is more your think, or a pop-up tattooist in Frankton? The programme is here.
Plus, March also brings the balloon festival. If you’re a Hamiltonian already, you don’t need us to tell you, but if you’re new in town, you’re in for a treat. If you’re in the flight path, it’s a good week to hold a champagne breakfast. Also you’re one of the many people who own a Canon DSLR and don’t know how to work the bloody thing because you only bought one to seem more interesting to an attractive stranger, Photo Warehouse are hosting a Balloons over Waikato photography walk. Nikon users, you’re on your own.
Sport
Run the Runway, March 9, does what it says on the tin - offering 5 km course around the Hamilton airport is a local favourite, especially for people who absolutely refuse to run uphill. Proceeds are going to a “yet to be decided” charity. There’s an Arrested Development gag about that.
March 9th also sees the 86th running of the 5 Bridges River Swim, where swimmers will navigate a 7.1 km course that takes them under the Cobham, ANZAC Parade, Claudelands, Whitiora, and Fairfield Bridges.
The Hamilton Half Marathon (and also offers 5km and 10km courses) returns March 16; it starts and ends at the Hamilton Gardens and snakes along the river.
The Middle-earth Halfling Marathon™ is on March 22, at Hobbiton. The off-road trail course includes entry to the movie set, which isn’t really our jam but must be pretty cool if you’re a fan.
Can’t get away to Thailand for the White Lotus meets Ong Bak holiday of your dreams? Coaches from Tiger Muay Thai, the Phuket outfit known for training prominent MMA fighters in the art of striking, come to town for fight camp seminars throughout the weekend of 22-23 March. Tickets.
The annual Turangawaewae Regatta returns on March 22 and is not kidding around with a 12 kilometer course. Naturally, it comes with kai and entertainment. Peter Gordon will be there this year with hangi inspired cuisine.
The Arts
Image credit: Hannah Ireland, Sunday Morning Beneath A Feathered Sky (installation image), 2024, Laree Payne Gallery
Laree Payne Gallery hosts Hannah Ireland’s solo exhibition Sunday Morning Beneath a Feathered Sky, from 5 March to 29 March. The opening will be on 8 March, 11 am - 1pm.
Music
By Adam Fulton
7th March - Seamouse, Hans Blix, Stone Clones | Last Place (tickets)
Highly polished, borderline psyche-rock from Wellington's Seamouse, weirdo freak-folk somewhat reminiscent of Vic Chesnutt and Jeff Mangum in 'Hans Blix' (I like this a lot) and some knee-slapping rock music from Stone Clones
15th March - Dartz, Shaun's B'day, Pink Plates | Last Place (tickets)
Last Place stalwarts Dartz return to the most ideologically aligned venue in the country. Joined by Shaun's B'day (un-googleable but hoping for the best) and Pink Plates.
15th March - Matthew Bannister album launch | Nivara Lounge (tickets)
Long time Kirkiriroa resident and Flying Nun old boy Matthew Bannister is releasing a new album, backed by his band the Changing Same. Supported by Halcyon Birds.
27th March - Onanizer (CZ) | Last Place (tickets)
Czech grindcore band Onanizer make their way to Kirikiriroa for possibly the first time in almost 30 years. They are joined by west auckland knuckle dragging metal outfits Soul Stroke and Cesura.
28th March - Womb album release | Te Rore Community Hall (tickets)
Dream-pop heavyweights and siblings Womb bless the rural setting of Te Pahu/Ngāhinapōuri in one of Waipa's most idyllic community halls. They will be joined by hypnotic drone folk duo Big Sigh. Guaranteed to be very nice time.
29th March - Faceless Burial (AU) | Last Place (tickets)
Titans of Australian death metal Faceless Burial come to town, alongside probably the best heavy band out of Aotearoa in many years Distant Fear, newcomer hardcore freaks Noxo and first outing for Kirikiriroa's faux-black metal band Scablaw.
What we put in our mouths this month (WWPIOMTM)
We’ve been big fans of Amphora’s bar snack menu of late. Now they’ve offer toasties (and a wine match), which change each day. When we went, it was a three cheese toastie with truffle oil. I don’t know what subsequent tariffs will mean for this in the future, but we also enjoyed a very good Californian Syrah from The Ojai Vineyard on Valentine’s Day, which rotated off shortly afterwards.
Inspired by leftover chicken liver pate and pork belly, we made an attempt at banh mi recently. Banh mi is a delicate balance between the richness of roasted meat, duck liver pate, and mayo, offset by the crunch and freshness of daikon, carrot and coriander, and touched by the heat of fresh chili - and, if we’re being honest, we don’t think our fair city’s banh mi have really been nailing it.
As we’ve mentioned before, inspired by Stanley Tucci we’ve been marking freezer-door martinis. One of us fell down a warren of tik tok concerned with very, very dirty martinis - we’re talking about adding blue cheese, pickled onions, anchovies. All of these are sensational pairings for a martini, but we’re talking all at once in the same glass. Do these kids realise you can serve your martini with a fucking platter next to it?
We had mixed success with our first attempt growing tomatoes, but our basil (which we originally planted as a companion plant) has gone off without us lifting a finger. So we have been obsessed with caprese salads, with a basil oil of our own making (in addition to fresh leaves). We prefer it without balsamic vinegar - just the fresh stuff, olive oil and salt and pepper. We’re sad not to see it on the menu in more places at this time of year, but I guess we have the price of cheese to thank for that.
Our relationship with Kenji Lopez Alt was starting to fray, even before started very publicly working through some stuff on social media. But his Thai beef salad marinade is excellent.
What I saw - the Hamilton Arts Festival Toi Ora Ki Kirikiriroa with Louise Hutt
Tell us about your approach to the festival - how do you read the programme? How do you pick what you're going to go to? Tell us more.
As a city councillor, we're a major sponsor, so getting the calendar invite for the festival programme launch is one of the things I most look forward in the year. I'm basically taking notes at the launch event, and this year I had probably three times the amount of shows that I wanted to go to than I had the time to go to - which is such a wonderful dilemma to have.
I think about it from a FOMO perspective, if they were on in Auckland or another city, would I have been jealous, or, would have gone to the effort to travel to see them? There's also a little bit of being an internet geek, and following a lot of interesting New Zealanders across Twitter (RIP) and getting to see so many cool people in one place, in my city, is so nice.
What I saw:
Foraging with a Side of Feijoas (HamLit) - I've been a big fan of Kate Evans for a long time and she's a great interviewer.
Slings & Arrows (HamLit) - I love hearing my dear friend essa may ranapiri speak about their work, but also Scott Bainbridge is a whanuanga of mine.
A Past That Lives and Breaths (HamLit) - I've followed Vincent O'Malley online for ages, and his work such important historical context for us locally, and especially imo, for Paakeha and Paakeha politicians
Twelfth Night - I'm a big Shakespeare nerd (I was both Juliet and Helena in my high school productions ), and I enjoy any opportunity to make a She's The Man joke.
Left Brain Leadership (University of Waikato alumni event) - I knew four of the five panelists and was interested to hear them talk about creativity, their lives and careers, and what being a leader means to them.
Plus I think I should get half points for Sunset Symphony, which was on at the same time as Twelfth Night and provided an additional soundtrack!
Things I did have FOMO for not seeing:
I wanted to go to Carmina Burana but I had a Council invitation to another event on the same night (extremely privileged problem to have!).
I'm also an alumni of the Auckland Theatre Company's Summer School 2009 - which Andrew Paterson (who directed Antonio) and Chye-Ling Huang (Sweets to the Sweet) also attended and I would have loved to have seen both.
I was extremely jealous if Couture in the Gardens - both the Mayor and Deputy Mayor posted photos and afterwards I was kicking myself for not going.
I honestly enjoyed everything I saw, I thought it was a diverse programme with heaps of choice across performance, literature, and music. I read Steve Braunias' review with a bit of a sigh and cringe - a lukewarm at best take. "Omg I expected Hamilton to be a bit shit, but actually it's kinda cool and also wow did you know women are interesting" made me think we need better reviewers for the major newspapers.
You're known for being a big cyclist around the city, and an advocate for public transport. How did you get to shows? If you cycled, how bike-friendly was it? Somewhere to leave your wheels securely? Did you see lots of other cyclists?
Some days I biked, some days I carpooled. The Gardens is 11km away from my house so it depends on how hot it was and what else I had on that day. You can't enjoy the events if you get heat stroke, dehydrated or sunburnt!
I locked up my bike (and even charged it) at the new bike shelters - there's one by the cafe, and another over by the bridge to the Rhododendron Lawn. This was super easy and there were heaps of other bikes locked up too.
I did see some pedestrians running across Cobham Drive by Grey Street and I wanted to shout at them that there's an UNDERPASS only a few meters away but one of the things you shouldn't do as a city councillor is shout out unsolicited advice from moving cars (one downsides of the job, really). So instead I want us to have a look at whether we've got adequate signage there - because the whole point of the underpass is so people don't run across an 60km/hr road.
If we emptied out your bag on an average event, what have you packed to ensure a good day at the gardens?
Big hat (seems obvious but there were some people who arrived too late to get a seat in the shade for an 11.30am event with no sunhat!)
Sunblock.
I bought a Kmart handheld fan but it was too noisy! So I often ended up using a programme booklet to help with the heat (I have now bought an actual fan when I was at Daiso on the weekend).
My 5 year old Frank Green drink bottle, half filled with ice and half with water.
Hand sanitiser (public health still matters and helps get sunscreen off your palms).
Two Kmart camp chairs and two cushions for events with BYO seating - they have handles so you can sling them over your shoulders, which really helps for trekking to the car and back.
My knitting - and another gentleman had also brought his for Foraging with a Side of Feijoas!
$$$ for buying books you definitely don't have to buy but want to so you can get the authors to sign
Where would you go afterward for a post show drink? Dinner?
We had one hour between Slings & Arrows and Twelfth Night so we had pies from the food trucks, which had no wait time, immediate hot pie delivery, and were incredible (I got Thai Beef). My partner went and got waffles during the Twefth Night intermission, which was also a very good choice. The Dosa truck was also there, which I've had before and their potato and cheese doas is incredible.
If you've been hot and sweaty at shows all day like I was, you probably want to pick up a takeaway on the way home - but if you're planning a nice evening out, going beforehand to somewhere like Reggie's, Thyme Square, or Sage for dinner, then popping over to the Gardens would be a pretty sweet evening.
