December (and January) #08🎄

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, and happy holidays darling readers. 

We come to you with a slimmed down December-January edition of the Draft, because the offerings are light, and we’re taking January off. Go to the beach, have a picnic, and watch out for us again in February. 

What we lack listings for the next couple of months we make up with in Scuttebutt. And boy, we did put even more than usual in our mouths this month. 

We also spent quite some time on this month’s local Kirikiriroa gift guide - which we decided on well before gift guides became entirely ubiquitous, particularly on TikTok. I don’t know about you, but it’s made Christmas feel more truly capitalist than ever before. But given your bucks are getting harder and harder to come by, and we hear time and time again that people want to support local businesses - we stuck to our guns with the intention of giving readers an entirely local offering of thoughtful gifts.

Mostly, we’ve stuck to that - I say mostly, because to pull off something like that, you really have to define what is local, anyway? We have, at times, snuck in a Melbourne designer stocked in Hamilton East, or a Hamilton business who produces in China. But everything is available in town and contributes to Kirikiriroa businesses for entrepreneurs. 

Lastly, Laree Payne shares with us her art buying tips. And we stole some tips on how to support the local hospo scene from Auckland’s Lazy Susan facebook page. 

Take care out there Hamiltonians - thank you for your support this year, and we’ll see you in 2024.

Scuttlebutt

The jetty on Wellington Street Beach, curiously on Jellico Drive, is pāwhati. Massive recent fluctuations in the river levels this year have taken its toll, and the jetty has been condemned. The council is planning $1.7 million upgrade. 

Did you know you can walk through a life-sized partial replica of the Rangiriri Pa, which is now open for public tours?

We have a perennial joke in our two-desk office about starting a section in this newsletter called On the Cutting Room Floor - essentially joke stories that didn’t make it. Many of them are centred around Hamilton’s vague local obsession with roundabouts, for example: Hamilton’s best roundabouts. Hamilton’s worst roundabouts. Five traffic light intersections we wish were roundabouts. What’s growing on Hamilton’s roundabouts? A listicle, the gardens of Hamilton’s roundabouts - ranked. So you can imagine unfettered delight when our first-equal favourite Hamilton or has-vague-ties-with-Hamilton writer Robyn Gallagher (she ties with Aimee Cronin) tweeted this:

(It’s the Hillcrest intersection between Cambridge, Hillcrest and Morrinsville Roads, and it’s still awful. The carpark to the bottom right of the photo presumably belongs to the New World.)

We are playing another little game amongst ourselves: spot the ChatGPT-written copy in restaurant or Uber Eats descriptions  - and this month’s winner is newcomer Lyonaise Fern on Grey Street, whose website copy is a bewildering deluge of adjectives that manages… not to say very much. Runner up is Submarine of Ward Street, whose Uber Eats menu similarly offers paragraph-long treatises on sandwich contents.

An Angelsea Street bus stop (the one next to the sex shop) is to be moved at the cost of $700,000. Your uptight uncle won’t know which part of that he’s going to rant about at Christmas lunch, but he’s got a couple of weeks to settle on a narrative.

Former Hamilton West MP Tim Macindoe is running for the Hamilton East Council seat left by local fluoride sceptic boy genius Ryan Hamilton, and the smart money is on him running for Mayor in 2025.

Then there are, of course, the rates. The cost of living crisis hits councils as well. There is a chronicity to this problem - in the last 20 years, the books have been balanced only twice. Also important context - our rates are $1000 cheaper than comparable cities according to our sources. Councillors on the whole (excepting two - Southgate and O’Leary) voted for ripping the band aid off with a 25.5% rates hike next year, followed by rises of 12.9 and 8.7% over the following two years - which will be put to the public. This will balance the books over three years and save about $3m in debt-related costs. But, it still makes for grim reading and is likely to trickle down to renters. Financial crunches are hitting local government all over the place, and this podcast episode from The Guardian (although it is more UK-centric, it’s pretty broadly applicable here) is a great primer on why.

Feature: Holiday Gift Guide

What do get the busy eight year old who already has a legally listed company? Steal inspiration from the slightly-more-corporate-than-they-care-to-admit Hamilton East boho, who annoyingly has pretty good taste, and who will think nothing of dropping $200 on a really mint picnic. We give you plenty of options for your gallery hooping big sis type. who loves a dirty martini every night at six. And lastly gifts for your brewing enthusiast relative who you know wants beer or something beer-adjacent, but would rather die than receive anything from a certain, now ubiquitous local brewery.

Everyone on the page is from a Hamilton business, and a lot of it is made locally too. Our first annual holiday gift guide is available here.

Feature: Artistic Licence

We talk to Laree Payne about how to start building an art collection that’s personal and specific to you, so that you continue to love the pieces on your walls for years, and possibly decades, to come.

What’s On

Music

By Adam Fulton

The Cavemen, Bloodbags, Cthulus December 9. The Yot Club, Raglan.

An evening of Garage, Rock and Roll and Surf tunes.

A Last Place Christmas with Eddie and the Dreamers, Swizel Jager, Offal Pit Stiletto, Martial Law. December 16. Last Place.

Last Place variety show, spanning the musical spectrum from jangly pop to Hardcore Punk.

Off! (USA). January 7. The Yot Club, Raglan.

Hardcore punk supergroup Off! grace our rural shores with a plethora of local supports.

Hamtown Smakdown. January 19-20. Bill Gallagher Centre, Wintec.

Annual all ages punk and hardcore festival returns to the Gallagher Centre over two nights. Lineup TBA.

DUUN. January 26. Last Place.

Debut Kirikiriroa show for the Tāmaki Makaurau stoner group DUUN.

Film

By Jason Marshall

Next year marks the 70th anniversary of the first Godzilla film with the eponymous radioactive lizard, often an allegorical embodiment of existential fears about nuclear war and nuclear energy, having appeared in 37 movies since the original. Godzilla Minus One takes the series back to its roots in the devastation and turmoil of post-war Japan. “As much a lavish period drama about a country rediscovering a sense of national worth as it is an epic kaiju spectacle,” writes James Marsh in the South China Morning Post. Releases 1 December. Trailer.

A riveting political thriller that has been lighting up the Korean box office, 12.12: The Day depicts the chaos of the days following the assassination of President Park Chung Hee, as factions of the Korean military vie to seize power. Expect a prodigious amount of cigarette smoking and backroom conspiring. Releases 7 December. Trailer.

A24 have been killing it with their releases over the last few years, with films that have been heart warming, heart breaking, existentially terrifying, and heart warming, heart breaking and existentially terrifying. Next cab off the rank is Dicks: The Musical, a gloriously profane musical helmed by Larry Charles (director of Borat, and the best Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes) and featuring Broadway stalwarts Nathan Lane and Megan Mullally and a bunch of songs about (you guessed it) dicks. Releases 7 December. Trailer.

Like many other terminally online movie buffs, I was extremely sceptical about Wonka given its premise (Another character origin story reboot? Boo!) and what I thought was an odd looking trailer, and predicted it would cause the Timothée Chalamet market to crash in an unrecoverable tailspin, at least the release of Dune 2. But the first reviews are out, and critics seem to love it. Releases 14 December. Trailer.

Welcome to the party pal! If you’re one of those people who think Die Hard is a Christmas movie, then the Regent Theatre have got a special screening for you. December 20 at 7:00 pm. Tickets.

Gen Z, according to a recent study, have a strong dislike of romance and sex scenes in movies and TV shows, and entertainment industry pundits have long pronounced the death of the romcom - can the combined starpower and sex appeal of Glenn Powell and Sydney Sweeney beat the odds and take us back to the 90s in Anyone But You? Find out in cinemas on Boxing Day. Releases 26 December. Trailer.

What we put in our mouths this month

Absolutely everything that sommelier and owner Kieran recommended at Amphora. Not sure what to order? He knows what you want, even if you don’t.

Things we tried (and loved) this month on his behest: the “chilly red” - the Marathon Downs Little Red 2022, served cold at $15 a glass. We also tried the A Thousand Gods Giara 2021, which he pitched as a “skunky little sauvignon blanc”. And at the top end, try the Gaia Thalassitis, a Santorini Assyrtiko normally sold by the bottle but if you’re nice to the staff, $25 a glass, which is divine.

We wrote of our excitement about Crack Chicken ahead of Made opening and finally got to try it - it seriously delivers.

What can you be doing to help local hospo operators?

Those who have lived in recent-Auckland may know or subscribe to foodie Facebook page Lazy Susan, run by experienced food writer Anna King Shahab. It boasts 35,000 devoted readers, and is popular amongst restaurateurs and patrons alike. 

Recently, after the closure of award winning restaurant Inca, one poster asked - what more can I be doing to support hospo, when more than just natural selection is at play? What followed were a number of tips and suggestions, mainly from the restauranteurs in the group. 

Some are obvious - such as death to Uber Eats, obviously, and gifting vouchers to your favourite spots. If you make a booking, especially if it is a large group, chrissakes - show up. (The kitchen will have prepped for it.) 

Others less so, for those that don’t know the biz. It doesn’t always have to be a full meal, replied on commenter - if you’re working from home, go for that drink out at the end of a week day, which is counter intuitive for those of us who feel the pressure to order a full meal if you’re taking up a spot. 

Restaurants are often busy Friday and Saturday night, and when money is tight, people often reserve going out on these nights intuitively. Don’t forget week nights, some offered, especially if you’re ordering small (one half of our editorial team spent a long time living in Copenhagen, where they have the concept of the “Little Friday”, aka, Thursday, which our household has taken to heart.) Restaurants often have specials on these nights too, because one extra busy night a week for a place can be the difference between breaking even and insolvency. 

Lastly, spread the word when you have a good experience. Follow your favourite bars and restaurants on social, and when you have a good meal there, post. Conversely, if something’s disappointing, get in touch with the restaurant personally to discuss what was below par before heading to social media - a good establishment likes the opportunity to put things right. 

You can read the full thread, here.

November #07

In one of those damned-with-faint-praise sentiments, it’s often said that one of the best things about our city is our proximity to other places. Raglan, the Mount, the Central Plateau if you’re a skiier. I think one of the really overlooked parts of that equation are Hamilton’s smaller satellite towns. Cambridge, Te Aroha, and Te Awamutu - which houses the 92 year old Regent Theatre.

Up until recently, the same enigmatic owner had run the cinema for 51 years. There’s a new pair of hands at the projector now, and they have lots of plans - including fostering the local filmmaking scene - while also trying to be true to its history and loyal, discerning clientele. You can read about their plans with our profile of manager Paige Larianova this month.

Of course, we would also dispute that the “best” thing about Hamilton is that everything else is close by, in the same way that you can appreciate the sweet location of an inner city apartment, without mistaking it for character in and of itself.

When I first started telling people about this newsletter, someone at work said, unironically, why don’t you make it like Coffee News but for cocktails? I knew what she meant and I kinda liked it. We went to the pub last week while waiting for a take away meal, and honestly, 40% of the drinks being lifted off the bar were pretty little cocktails, in a joint where no one would have been caught dead drinking one 10 years ago. And no doubt, this is a world wide trend, and influenced by powerful marketing forces. But at the same time, the story of cocktails lounges in a previously tavern-soaked Hamilton (starting with Wonderhorse, to having 3 - 4 bars for really excellent cocktails venues) could also be argued to be a measure of the revitalisation of the CBD, and Kirikiriroa, itself.

So, we’re asking the serious cocktail-related questions. Will this summer be the death of the Aperol spritz? Sure, you’re drinking gin now, but are you ready for the tequila wave? Should you buy a luxury cocktail measure, or a thousand dollar swizzle stick? Do you really need a muddler, or is the end of a rolling pin okay? We answer your burning questions.

Otherwise, yes - we’re coming up to Christmas, but don’t forget Diwalli. We have some Drag, we have Adam’s gig guide, including a Palestine benefit concert, and theatre inspired by 1990s video game Oregon Trail.

For next month, we are bringing you what I believe the marketing kids call a “hyper local” gift guide. We will have cheap things, splurg-y things, eco things (if that’s not an oxymoron), crafty things, and the best gift certificates for services in town. If you want to let us know about your own locally made goods, or ones your swear by (if they’re a vendor on facebook, or own pop up at markets, even better) we’d love to hear from you at hello@thewaikatodraft.com

Scuttlebutt

Nothing like an election to simplify some pretty nuanced issues - eg, government debt is bad. Jonathan Milne at Newsroom takes a look at council debt, particularly in regards to water infrastructure in the wake of Three Waters, with a special mention to Hamilton.

There’s a new pedestrian and cycle bridge planned between Grantham Street and Parana Park. Long story short: it was meant to be fancy, but now it’ll be an austerity bridge. - fair enough, perhaps?, but Natasha Hansen of the Infrastructure Acceleration Fund (IAF) says that doesn’t mean it will be an eyesore. I think we’ll all be the judge of that.

How’s this for a charm offensive? Auckland mayor, media darling, and noted fuckwit Wayne Brown was hosting the Waikato Regional Council (WRC), regarding Te Huia, when he told the delegation: “Junk this and put on two free buses”. Then he got his facts wrong - patronage numbers and the extent to which the fares are subsidised. Todd Niall has done some excellent reporting (and debunking), here. Te Huia will be running a third service on Thursdays and Fridays from February next year. 

This didn’t get reported enough: Te Huia regularly release patronage data, and during the week of free fares in August after being relegated to the naughty corner for running red lights, the service was taking 600-800 people a day on the Wednesday through Saturdays services.

From the archives, here’s an old profile from the Spinoff, from 2018, of our new Stark property overlords.

It was reported, back in April, that Fonterra was not planning to renew the lease on its it’s London Street HQ, in the WFH era. But earlier in October our dairy overlords confirmed they’ll be morning to the corner of Knox and Anglesea Street, keeping all that valuable foot traffic in the CBD.

The prodigal Hamilton night markets are returning back to Barton Street, after many years at The Base. Perhaps another indicator of the reviving health of our CBD, as many around the country.

Especially for all our readers who are displaced Aucklanders: the Spring Metro is epic and their best issue in years. They too have a cocktail spesh, and they have a date night spesh too (we did one a number of months ago, here). It’s decidedly po-Co, grappling with the search for late night shenanigans against a somewhat dystopian hospitality backdrop. 

Lastly, we keep joking at our editorial meetings about starting a section called, Grumble, grumble… I don’t like change. The new ACC building on Collingwood Street has very few car parks by design, and instead of using other means staff are hogging car parks right up to and around the lake. We also had lols at someone on Reddit is complaining about roadworks on a roundabout, and the new in-lane bus stop on Pembroke Street - but both posts appear to have been deleted, and of course, a certain kind of unimaginative Hamiltonian is complaining about the car parking at Made.

Melville Skate Park gets a new toilet block and it looks fantastic.

Over on Reddit, user InterestingnessFlow talks about Victoria Street’s wiggly line of paving stones.

And lastly, demolition is starting at the Founders Theatre. There have been a few campaigns to save it - we wish they’re just keep the 1960s fountain outside as a hat tip.

Feature: Cocktail Spesh

There are early evening cocktails, and there are one more for the road cocktails and there are elegantly simple cocktails that flirt with being a single straight liquor (like the old joke about Winston Churchill whispering the word vermouth into his martini), and there are ridiculous cocktails with paper umbrellas in. We explore our favourite Kirikiriroa purveyors of cocktails so you can also cultivate an air of sophistication by at least pretending to think about it before your order you drink. 

Feature: Passing the Torch

If you’re spotted a difference in Te Awamutu’s iconic Regent Theatre recently (either because you’re a regular or you’ve noticed their Instagram), you’d be right. In 2022 its longtime owner-operator Allan Webb retired and ownership was passed to a charitable trust. We sat down with manager Paige Larianova to talk about the change in the air and what it takes to run a film festival.

What’s on

Around town

We’ve had the magnolias, the cherry blossoms, and now the roses are out. There’s the Pacific Rose Bowl at the gardens, but our pick is for the Te Awamutu Rose Festival November 3rd, followed by a walk around the town’s gardens. 

Gourmet at the Gardens is back from November 5th, on the Rhododendron Lawn at the Hamilton Gardens. Texas Petes will be there, Baltao Filipino food from Howick, Durban cuisine, good old Fritz’s Wieners bratwurst, Nepalese dumplings. You can also hire an e-bike for the ride in from either Cambridge or Ngaaruawahia, with a package from $85 which includes a shuttle back, from River Riders. Every Sunday, from 4pm. Get a group together and get your optimal queueing strategy sorted now.

Stolen Girlfriends Club are holding a pop up sale at Globox Arena on November 3rd to 5th.

Celebrate Diwali at Inness Common with the Waikato Indian Cultural Society- it’s the first time in their 33 years it will be held at the lake. November 11, from 4 to 8pm.

If you’re a bit sporty - the Waitomo trail run has a number of distances and difficulties for walkers are runners. Or if you’re a bit more of an inner city person, stick close to home with the Round the Bridges on November 12th - it starts and finishes in Garden Place - so plenty to chose for a pint afterwards as well.

Are you, like us, total philistines who only know orchestral music if it comes from a movie? Well we’ve got the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra event for you, with NZSO performing the work of John Williams at Globox Arena on November 12th.

Get to the chopper! The Waikato Westpac Rescue Helicopter Trust hosts an open day on November 19th.

Anita Wigl’it hosts a night of Drag Bingo at the Waikato Museum on November 24th.

Found and the Super Creative podcast invite you to take a long, three-course lunch with them at Mr Pickles, over an interview with award-winning interior architects Liv Patience and Toni Brandso of Material Creative. November 19 from 11.30am, $220 a head.

Music

By Adam Fulton

Greg Franco's Rough Church (US). Nivara Lounge. November 9.

Fuzzy psych pop from LA's Greg Franco, joined by the Fuzzies and the Changing Same.

Brandon De La Cruz, Nicholas Joseph. Fossick. November 10.

A joint release show of sorts between Portland/Kirikiriroa's Brandon De La Cruz and Te Pahu's Nicholas Joseph, joined by Halcyon Birds for an evening of jangly indie rock and dulcet folk

Happy Valley. Mesoverse. November 10.

Pōneke screamo revivalists Happy Valley, joined by Tāmaki Makaurau's Jiahu Symbols and locals Cease and Desist

Magic Factory. The Yard, Raglan. November 11.

Rock'n'roll party big-band Magic Factory from Tāmaki Makaurau, joined by surf rock group the Cthulus and Vincent HL.

Cosmic Psychos (AU). Yot Club, Raglan. November 18.

Australian stalwarts of punk rock, joined by Dick Move and Grown Downz from Tāmaki Makaurau.

Medical Aid for Palestine benefit show. Last Place. November 25.

Star studded lineup of Unsanitary Napkin (Whanganui), Easy Off, Attrition, Boilermaker and Nicholas Joseph, running through every subgenre from funeral-country to blackened crust.

Theatre

By Louise Drummond

The Trail to Oregon. Meteor Theatre. November 7-11, 7.30pm. Elder millennials will be having conniptions at the mere title of this show, because you know what’s coming. That’s right, snake bites and dysentery. Yes, it’s based on the classic video game, and yes, it’s hilarious. You even get to vote on who dies. 

MA’ARA, IĒNA PASIFIKA. Meteor Theatre. November 13, 7pm. MA’ARA is a showcase of short pieces by new writers, brought to you by the IĒNA PASIFIKA, a new initiative for Māori and Pasifika youth to develop their own stories. It’s great that Kirikiriroa has opportunities like this for local young people, and the work that comes out of it is bound to be extraordinary.

Footloose. Riverlea Theatre. November 18 - December 9, 7.30pm (plus a 2pm matinee on the 19th). Time to cut loose. If you’ve seen the film you know the plot of this one, but there’s new songs as well. Bound to be a very energetic evening, and one of the last big local musicals for the year.

Royal Battlegrounds Grand Finale. Meteor Theatre. November 26, 7pm. The Tron has a vibrant drag scene, and this show is the cream of the crop. Competitors have been battling it out all year, and this is the final showdown to see the best of the best and crown the ultimate champion. Remember to dress up as glam as you can, it’s part of the fun.

Film

By Jason Marshall

As mentioned in the feature this month, the Misty Flicks Film Festival showcases a range of local shorts, features and documentaries as well as workshops and networking events for filmmakers. Tickets and full schedule here. Friday November 24 to Sunday November 26.

You may remember Cat Person, the 2017 New Yorker-published short story by Kristen Roupenian that went viral for its gritty, boots on the ground portrayal of the myriad horrors of elder Millennial dating. That’s now been adapted as a film starring the excellent Emilia Jones (of CODA fame) and Nicholas Braun (Succession’s Cousin Greg!). Trailer. Releases Thursday 2 November.

Get ready to dance in the aisles, the iconic 1984 Talking Heads concert film Stop Making Sense gets a re-release this month. It’s going to be a real treat to see this on the big screen. Trailer. Releases Thursday 2 November.

New Zealand’s foremost Paula Bennett impersonator, Tom Sainsbury, directs and stars in Loop Track, a psychological thriller about a man on the edge of a nervous breakdown who goes tramping. In the bush, things go from bad to worse. Trailer. Releases Thursday 2 November.

This year Tiktok taught us that men are constantly thinking about the Roman Empire. But what about the Napoleonic Wars? Ridley Scott’s historical epic Napoleon charts the rags to emperor rise and fall of Napoleon Bonaparte (Joaquin Phoenix) and his turbulent relationship with Joséphine Bonaparte (Vanessa Kirby). Trailer. Releases 23 November.

What we put in our mouths this month

If you’re able to catch them during their short opening hours and rugby match closures, Waikato Udon is absolute treat, serving noodles handmade on site daily. We sampled the Kama Butter Bacon Udon, a new addition to the menu that’s like carbonara but better.

With the weather warming up, we’re keen for light fresh flavours in the lengthening evenings and Panzanella, a Tuscan bread and tomato salad layered with basil and a shallot vinaigrette, hits in all the right ways and has fast become one of our summer favourites. This recipe by the always dependable Kenji Lopez-Alt incorporates a mad and inspired method of salting tomatoes and retaining the liquid for incorporation into the vinaigrette. What the recipe doesn’t call for, but we always insist on, is chucking in bag chunks of fresh mozzarella.

Tucked away as it is on Cameron Road, we had kind of forgotten about Royale Indian. On a recent visit we were reminded just how good they are, and blown away by the bang for your buck offered by their $14 lunch special.

We loved Grey Street Kitchen’s Chirashi bowl, combining kimchi fried rice with a bunch of other delicious stuff. No photos as we scoffed it all immediately.

The coffee at Grey Street Roasting Co. was so good it left us in stunned silence throughout what was supposed to be an editorial meeting. Honestly, we just sat there agape like the food critic at the end of Ratatouille. So, do check it out.

October #06 👻

We’ve made the deliberate choice not to run any election content this month, but we will always interested in how and why Hamilton’s a so-called bellwether*, and what that says about us, really? Paradoxically, the greater Waikato (Te Pahu in fact, if you want to get even more granular) has produced both Helen Clark and the subject of our nostalgic feature this month, the McGillicuddy Serious Party. We knocked on leader Graeme “Laird” Cairns’ door for a chat, only to find other journalists had been there recently too. In search of the light relief this election, we ask him and former Times satirical columnist Joshua Drummond whether conspiracy theory parties have stolen all their would-be material.

We also took a tour around the soon-to-open MADE development, complete with high vis vests, and we tell you our picks and the bits we’re most excited about. Plus ahead of Halloween we visit the specialist American candy store you didn’t know you needed, let you know where you can catch The Exorcist on the silver screen, and all the details on the Festival of the Weird’s Zombie Walk.

And as always - haere mai to our new follows. This has also been coming for a while… despite our attempts to keep everything short and snappy, our emails are getting long (thanks in part to our excellent and growing contributors). We remain first and foremost aggregators, but for our features/featurettes, we will be linking to the full story hosted under the features tab on our website. Which will also give you another way to browse (and share) our longer and original bits of content.

As always, we love to hear from you, hello@thewaikatodraft.com. Show us your tips, etc…

And we’ll see you on the other side of October.

- Sylvia

*The Bellwether was one of the early, alternate names floated for this newsletter.

Scuttlebutt

There’s a new bus service: the Meteor, will along run on the East-West axis of the city - starting in Rotokauri, through Frankton and the CBD, then out to Ruakura via the University. It drives past, but doesn’t stop at, its namesake theatre. It replaces the 2 Silverdale and 8 Frankton, and joins the Comet and the Orbiter as the other celestial bodies around town, with “The Rocket” planned for Rototuna. Maybe it’s just us, but the similar space-themed names get a bit confusing - however, we are advocating for a rebrand of the Night Rider as the Moonraker.

While on transport, in-lane bus stops and associated pedestrian and cycling infrastructure are planned for Horsham Downs Road, for which 90% (yes, you read that correctly) is to be paid for by Waka Kotahi (via the emissions trading scheme). This came under threat this month at a council Infrastructure and Transport committee meeting. In a rare move, East Ward councillor Mark Donavan tabled a revocation motion, to scrap the lot. It failed, and you can read about how everyone voted here.

Good George tried to beat the Warriors to trademarking the fan-phrase “Up the Wahs” and did so by about a week. Then, they quietly removed their application and bowed out of making their Up-the-Wahs beer, which went viral last year and close-to sold out. We hope all beer companies are as gracious about intellectual property as our local brewing friends. 

And lastly, the annual favourite kids’ Duck Island Flavour Creators contest winners were announced last month. The winners were Ezra Page-Clarke, age 7, of Mt Cook School who won with her entry French Breakfast, and Simone Kelly, age 10, of Wadestown school, with Grannies Breakfast. (Don’t @ us about apostrophes - she’s 10.)

Our own daughter, age 3, entered an apple and playdough entry, which did not place.

“Jim Bolger was never going to retaliate. We made a mockery of Winston Peters... we were merciless! But he never retaliated. And he never sent goons around to beat us up”

— Graeme "Laird" Cairns, McGillicudy Serious Party founder

Feature: Why so serious?

This month, with a decidedly unfunny election still dragging on, we look at the Waikato-grown McGillicuddy Serious Party and talk to its founder Graeme “Laird” Cairns.

We also ask Josh Drummond where satire is meant to go, exactly, when conspiracy theories are spouting falsehoods stranger than the truth, that then wind up in the mainstream?

What’s on

Grab your dirndls and lederhosen, and get ready for the oompa band, Good George celebrate Oktoberfest 2023 on October 7th. Tickets $45, inclusive of your first drink.

Alternatively, enjoy some outdoor cinema with Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, playing at Garden Place on the same night, weather permitting. 

The One NZ cybersecurity roadshow will be holding a session on October 11th. Hosted by Seven Days alum Jeremy Elwood, the roadshow aims to communicate cybersecurity best practice to small and medium enterprises. (Perhaps our hospital might like to attend?)

The University of Waikato hosts a panel discussion with the Australian High Commissioner to New Zealand, Harinder Sidhu, to discuss climate change, the Pacific, and regional security on October 11th at 12 pm.

Michelle A’Court hosts She’ll Be Right, a showcase of women comedians, at Nivara Lounge on Thursday October 12th.

Love melted cheese? Alliance Française hosts a raclette party on October 14th. Tickets.

It’s the second MX Mooloo Drag Pageant, with special guest judge Yuri Guaii (RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, season two) at the Meteor on October 14th. Tickets.

Kirikiriroa Poetry Slam, supported by the City Library, Saturday October 21, from 7pm. 

Head out for the Raglan Oyster Festival, Sunday October 22, with live music and signature Raglan chill vibes. Also on offer fresh flounder and white bait fritters. 

The Yamaha Rollos Marine Bridge 2 Bridge Waterski Classic runs from October 27th to October 29th with competitors racing from Grantham Street boat ramp all the way out to Ngaruawahia and Taupiri. It’s a waterski race? We’re not sure we entirely get it, but the footage of last year’s running looks pretty badass. Our pick for a viewing point is the Flagstaff foot bridge.

Running a community group or project but need funding? The Waikato Community Funding Expo takes place on November 1st, from 9.00 am to 3.00 pm. (We don’t typically feature events in the next month but our November issue isn’t out until the following day.)

The Festival of the Weird, October 27 to November 5, encompasses a range of art and theatre events. Our picks are the zombie walk starting in Garden Place on October 27th, and then the cyclopedia guided tour of fun and weird facts about Hamilton on November 5th.

Made

Just this week the news finally broke - Made has gone from opening soonish, to locking in November 4. We were lucky enough to take a tour around the premises last week. Everything looks great but we’re most excited about:

• First and foremost, Melbourne sommelier Keiran Clarkin (and writer! He has both been featured and written for Melbourne’s Broadsheet, and contributed to the Pantograph Punch), is opening wine bar Amphora, offering sustainable tap and glass pours focusing on organic and handmade wine. Clarkin’s CV has a number of strings to its bow: wine educator, restaurant manager, and sommelier roles at a number of hatted Melbourne restaurants.

• Hāpi, serving a selection of craft beers and cocktails, importantly is also offering a karaoke room and a golf simulator - which sounds like a great start to any Friday night.

• Crack Chicken, by David Lee of Parnell’s Simon and Lee (as well as Little King, Dear Jervois, Major Sprout and The Candy Shop in Newmarket - you can read this profile, by Eat Lit Food’s Albert Cho, here). Essentially, he’s one of the big innovators in Auckland over the last few years. We’re told he was one of the first to sign up for Made, which is exciting for Hamilton.

• The Green, as readers may know, has been up and running for some time. Chef Karl Martin-Boulton has a set, evolving, seasonal six course degustation menu, for up to eight diners at a time. You must book - on Saturdays, even weeks to months in advance.

• For new readers, we’re longtime fans of Expleo butchery and excited to see them in Made - we’ve written about them before, here.

Nicola Farquhar, Envoy, 2023, Oil and acrylic on linen with acrylic on canvas attachment. 300mm H x 300mm W + attachment. Image courtesy of the artist. 

Art

The Laree Payne Gallery (who just returned from representing Sarah Smuts-Kennedy at Sydney Contemporary) is showing POLYPODY this month. Catch the object based work of Jack Hadley, alongside the paintings of Nicola Farquhar, until October 21. 

Theatre

by Louise Drummond

Improv Combat, by Allsorts Theatre. Meteor Theatre, Sunday nights 7pm, October 1, 8, 15, 22. Everyone always describes improv as like Whose Line Is It Anyway – because honestly, it's basically impossible to describe improv comedy to people who haven't seen it before, because every performance is different. The teams at Allsorts are consistently hilarious, and perfect for those new to the genre.

The Little Mermaid Jr., by National Youth Theatre. Clarence St Theatre, 6-8th October, 11am & 2pm performances. In case you're wondering – this is the Disney version (as opposed to the Hans Christian Anderson original), with all those gorgeous songs. Performed by over 50 young actors from across the Waikato, this will be full of some great talent. Perfect holiday fare.

Popcorn, by Hamilton Playbox. Riverlea Theatre, 7-21 October, mostly 7.30pm, plus a couple of matinees. A satirical thriller, be prepared for plenty of murderous moments and adult themes. The author, Ben Elton, was a writer on Blackadder, so you know it’s good. Think Quentin Tarantino or Natural Born Killers and you'll get the vibe.

Hospital Revue - Virus Ridiculus, by Te Whatu Ora Waikato (Health New Zealand) Clarence St Theatre, 19-20 October, 7pm. For the first time in ten years, Waikato Hospital is back with a fantastic skit show full of songs and parodies. Everything is performed by health professionals, who are taking the leap onto the stage to raise money for True Colours, a non-profit that supports children with a serious health condition. Should be a great night for a greater cause.

Ladies' Night, Clarence St Theatre, 22 October, 4pm & 8pm. Ladies' Night is about five Kiwi blokes down on their luck and needing cash, who turn to stripping. Described as "Magic Mike with a double shot of Kiwi humour", I think you'll know immediately if you're in the target audience for this one, *ahem*. Rated 16+.

Triple-T Bro-case, Meteor Theatre. 21 October, 7pm. A double feature, both written by local talent Benny Marama - and the pick of the month. The first, a short play called Chair Bro, and the second, an excerpt of a longer piece in development called 'akakino. Following these pieces, Marama will be joined by Antony Aiono, another local shining star, to perform songs from their show Spot The Difference. This show is definitely my pick of the month. Benny's stuff is always outstanding.

Music

by Adam Fulton

Cootie Cuties, Mikaela & Static. Yot Club Raglan. October 6. Tāmaki Makaurau pop-punk group Cootie Cuties play Raglan as part of their Splash the Fash tour.

Strung Out (USA). Last Place. October 7. Classic Californian punk rock, celebrating 30 years of banding.

Unrestful Movements/Dead Simple. Nivara Lounge. October 7. Unrestful Movements' Glen Wilson with his newest band Dead Simple, playing the hits of Unrestful Movements. Early 80s Wellington post-punk.

Dick Move (above). Last Place. October 13. Album release show for Tāmaki Makaurau punk band Dick Move. Joined by the Recently Deceived and Edible.

Jenny Don't & The Spurs (USA). Last Place. October 31. Country rock'n'roll from Portland, Oregon featuring members of Pierced Arrows and Wipers.

Film

by Jason Marshall

Unlike last month, there are actually releases to talk about in October.

Although we’re a bit sceptical of Hollywood’s recent attempts to reanimate old horror franchises, we were very freaked out by the trailer for The Exorcist: Believer. At time of writing there is a review embargo in place, so it’s hard to know whether it’ll deliver in the end, but Halloween is the time to take a chance on a horror movie. Trailer. Releasing Thursday 5 October.

Prefer the original? Need a young priest and an old priest? Te Awamutu’s Regent Theatre are doing a one-off screening of the 4K remaster of the film that started it all, The Exorcist - Director’s Cut. Trailer. 7:30 pm, Friday 6 October. Tickets.

A favourite of this year’s NZIFF and the winner of the Palm d’Or at Cannes, Anatomy of a Fall is a bracing psychothriller and courtroom drama. When her husband dies under suspicious circumstances at their secluded home, and with the only witness their blind 11 year old son, writer Sandra (played by the haunting Sandra Hüller) prepares to prove her innocence. Or not. Trailer. Releasing Thursday 12 October.

Did you emerge bloodied and defeated from the online riot over Taylor Swift tickets earlier this year? Us too. Fear not, the Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour concert film depicts three performances at Inglewood’s SoFi stadium. Trailer. Releasing Friday 13 October.

The film we’re most excited about this month, Killers of the Flower Moon marks the return of American auteur Martin Scorsese. In a spellbinding true crime thriller set in 1920s Oklahoma, the once impoverished Osage tribe find themselves unexpectedly wealthy after the discovery of oil on their land, and are suddenly the targets of a campaign of horrific violence that came to be known as the reign of terror. Xan Brooks of The Observer calls it, “sinuous and old-school, an instant American classic; almost Steinbeckian in its attention to detail and its banked, righteous rage.” Trailer. Releasing Thursday 19 October.

What we put in our mouths this month

On the way into the CBD one can spot, in particular, men in aran knit jumpers walking home with loaves of bread wrapped in brown paper from Rüdi's. We have now sampled the pain au ham and cheese, the babka, the almond croissant, and the softie. It’s all excellent. Next on our hit list is the Kranksy Dog Log.

We will return to the Beerescourt precinct in another issue, but we had been meaning to try the empanadas at La Rosa Latin Pastries for yonks and did so this month - they did not disappoint. We especially loved the chorizo empanada. Parking is a bit of a nightmare, but don’t let that stop you.

At home, we’ve been cooking a lot of fish in parchment paper recently, which is perfect with so much citrus around at the moment, a bit of cheap plonk, and anything else you have lying around (capers, olives, shallots, etc). With asparagus and baby potatoes coming into season, that’s like 30% of your dinners for the next bit sorted. Here’s a fish en papillote recipe we liked.

It’s a hidden gem that homesick American expats already know, but new to us - International Foods offers a range of American and Mexican treats in Te Rapa. With Halloween looming, what better excuse than load up on some novelty sweets? We tried a range of candies with names like Sour Smog Balls, Lil’ Worms Warheads, and a Reese’s Nutrageous bar which we can only describe as being like some kind of weaponised Snickers. But our pick of the bunch was a nameless and unbranded tamarind and caramel lollipop, which had a salty and spicy kick on top of that sweetness.

We stopped into Ernest for a whiskey sour and a negroni. More about cocktails next month.

And in last month’s Best of Hamilton spesh, we were taken for task for not having a best pie section. Actually, we just needed to do more sampling before putting our name to it. We continue to munch our way around the pies of Hamilton and will report back…

September #05

Sharing your hidden gems is always slightly dangerous (and probably no more so than in a medium-sized city) - if the masses swamp your favourite shoe-repair guy, while you can be happy for all involved, on a purely practical level is can just leave you waiting longer for a resole. So it is with genuine gratitude we thank everyone for giving up their treasured Kirikiriroa secrets for our Best of Kirikiriroa Spesh - particularly friend-of-the pod Anita who gave up her facebook-based authentic Malaysian home cook, which is very good of her.

Part of living well and being a Totally-Together-Grown Up is knowing where to get things altered, or take your dry cleaning, or having a good insurance broker. And we have the best of those too.

In other news, Made begins to open up and we’re very excited - we talk to the butcher with a cult following in Te Awamutu, Shawn Nicholas, about moving into the development. Also - a Crown Lynn market, vintage Steven Braunius, and Hamilton on film.

Along with our new subscribers, we say hello and welcome to Free FM. They had us on their breakfast show a couple a few weeks ago, and you might see a little more of us working together.

Scuttlebutt

The voting closed just prior to our deadline, but watch the same four-to-five Kirikiriroa eateries (we joke because we care) battle it out for the Waikato Hospitality Awards on September 17 at the Claudelands Events Centre.

The editor of the The Waikato Times, and stalwart of the media industry, Peter Tiffany has retired.

Our outgoing National MP in Hamilton East David Bennett leaves Parliament this term, and claims “They say you aren’t a true University of Waikato student if you don’t have a David Bennett pen.” The articles goes on to say “the electorate was also the only University seat National had consistently held since 2005”, but do note (and there is no shame in this) that currently the Honourable D Bennett is a list MP.

Like any Hamiltonian, we love excellent bridge content. The Kirikiriroa Metro substack has admirably ranked our bridges.

Pitching up to Hayes Common in the early afternoon and grazing and drinking our way to sunset and beyond had become something of a ritual birthday celebration in our circle of friends this year. But in response to challenging times, Hayes Common - who have always looked after their staff well - are no longer doing evening service. Understandable, but they will be missed. (Their evening events continue.)

Oh no - we reported, like many others, about the Avalon Bakehouse Cafe’s bacon and egg pie winning its category at the Bakels Supreme Pie Awards for this year. It was a mistake, and the award really meant to go to Taste Café of Avondale. The true baker of the pie, Sok Heang Nguon, spotted his signature pie-top on the winning photo. Hey, if the Academy Awards can announce the wrong winner, so too can the Bakels. We’ve tried the B&E at Avalon Bakehouse and it’s pretty great.

The Spinoff breaks down the craft beer economy in the light of Epic liquidation and Brothers Beer’s voluntary liquidation last month, and what it means for big-boutique beer brands, such as Good George. While we’re here, the newly opened Good George Napier Taphouse rang a local knitting group, who had booked a table later in the week, to say their needles weren’t welcome “because it wasn’t the vibe they were going for”. They have apologised and the two have resolved the matter privately.

This very good piece, from the New York Times, talks about the breakdown of the theatre subscription model, which might be worth a read ahead of our own regional theatre, due to open in 2024.

Heritage librarian Perry Rice writes about this vintage photograph of Frankton’s rail yard.

Now you can cry all the way to our new blood bank! Read about what wonderful medical miracles happen to your blood after donation.

We took Te Huia for the first time this month. We were going to write about it but then we remembered Steve Braunius’ Sunday Star Times column, on what was then the Overlander (now the Northern Explorer).

Oh, and Made will be open proper soonish. We heard Labour day, but if that’s wrong you didn’t hear it from us. There are still spots available.

We’ve mentioned Te Awamutu butcher Shawn Nicholas from Expleo before - so famous he got a shout out on Shortland Street. "We couldn’t believe it,” says Shawn. “We had no idea how they knew about us.” Expleo will be moving into the Made development, which is super exciting - initially as a stall, but a full store is in the works. Their produce will be making its way fresh from TA every day. We featured his blood pudding before, but the lamb kofta also deserves a shout out.

What’s on

We’re not sure about Hamilton being the “undisputed mural capital of Aotearoa”, but then again we also didn’t quite appreciate we have more than 60 city murals lining our fair city. Local non-profit Boon are very passionate about it, and are running street art walking tours around the city every Saturday in September, to usher in Spring. All the money is going back to supporting the art and artists. $30 for adults and a precise $19.20 for students.

Sip and sew workshops is an exciting new business with good buzz already. Run by Sarah (a lifelong sewer with a teaching degree), it offers project-based sewing workshops where, unlike the intermediate-school-”home economics”-version, you also get a glass of bubbles thurst in your hand on arrival. Upcoming workshop projects include tote bags, eye masks, skirts and cushion covers. They also they have gift certificates available.

Dads, and lovers of Dad jokes, rejoice! Seven Days Live comes to Claudelands Event Centre September 8: that’s this Friday at time of writing!

And a NZ Vintage Pottery & Crown Lynn Market will be in the barn at Claudelands, September 30. Bliss.

Decibel wines are presenting five of their wines at Mr Pickles September 13th - $150pp with a five-course meal, or plonk only at the bar for $50pp. Booking essential.

Last, but not least, the NZ Cherry Blossom Festival runs for three weekends from the September 23, at English Cherry Tree Manor on Matangi Road. Instagram-ready backdrops abound. Their website also suggests pony rides.

Film

by Jason Marshall

We’re struggling to find any noteworthy new releases arriving in cinemas this month.

So, instead:

Hamilton plays itself in the 1985 post-apocalypse sci-fi cult classic, The Quiet Earth. Directed by Geoff Murphy (of Goodbye Pork Pie and Utu fame), the film follows scientist Zac Hobson (played by the always-brilliant Bruno Lawrence) waking up to find deserted streets, abandoned cars, and dead radio airwaves. After efforts to search for other survivors, he reluctantly concludes that he’s the last person left alive on earth. Thought provoking and affecting, The Quiet Earth examines isolation and the meaning of human connection, while musing on scientific hubris. The film depicts urban desolation and unclaimed spaces in a way that will excite fans of The Omega Man (and its later remake I Am Legend) and 28 Days Later, but altogether is a sparser and more contemplative experience.

Midway through the movie there’s a series of sequences taking place in and around Hamilton, and although it’s never directly named as such, the scenes are littered with references which ring true to local ears - with particular mentions of “searching both sides of the river”, and name dropping the corner of Mansel Ave and Hillcrest Road. Other scenes give us good 1980s glimpses of Waikato University, the hospital, and the lake. The filmmakers seemed to have had the run of the area around Alexandra Street, with a number of scenes shot there - culminating in a confrontation in the middle of (a much grassier) Garden Place.

Come for the beguiling sci-fi weirdness, stay for the shots of Hamilton circa 1985.

The Quiet Earth is available for rent and sale via NZ Film On Demand.

Music

by Adam Fulton

Don McGlashan & Motte, The Yard Raglan, September 7. Renowned singer of songs Don McG and most wondrous & hypnotic violinist Motte.

Swallow the Rat album release tour. Last Place , 22nd September. Post-punk trio from Tāmaki Makaurau. For fans of Wire, A Place to Bury Strangers & Big Black, joined by Empress and Orbjks.

There's a Tuesday, The Yot Club Raglan, 22nd September. Undulating indie-pop from Otautahi.

Te Henga Collective, Last Place, 29th September. Noodly, dubby reggae from Tāmaki Makaurau, joined by local hip hop duo No Exit to Grey Street

The Changing Same album launch, Last Place, 30th September. Flying Nun alumnus Matthew Bannister launches Go to the Movies, by his latest outfit the Changing Same. Joined by the Doubtful Sounds from Pōneke, and the New Existentialist from Tāmaki Makaurau

Theatre

by Louise Drummond

Monsters, The Meteor. 7-8 September, 7.30pm (with a 1pm matinee show on the 8th). The Wintec third year Bachelor of Music and Performing Arts students’ end-of-year show. This one is inspired by 1980s B-grade horror movies and involves a mad scientist's experiments going awry. Sounds very funny and, I'm sure, packed full of fabulous performances from people-to-watch.

The Cat in the Hat, Clarence St Theatre. 15th & 16th September, various times. A great one for all ages, with a couple of daytime performances on the Saturday. Will give the kids something to talk about for that last, endless week of school.

The Manic Monologues, The Meteor. 19th-23rd September, 7.30pm
Carving in Ice Theatre is back for Mental Health Week, with a series of monologues about different aspects of mental health conditions. The company is known for their high-quality work, and I'm sure this show will be no exception given the powerful subject matter.

Tehor II, by Naomi Azouley

Art

The National Contemporary Art Award 2023 is on at the Museum until November. You can also vote for the people’s choice award, which closes October 24.

Feature: the best of Kirikiriroa spesh

Best of Facebook Eats

The Facebook marketplace is a strange ecosystem all to itself - and in some parts of the world, was the hospo underground during lockdowns.

Best Malaysian Uni Sally kitchen on facebook. This sacred writ was passed on to our friend from her Malaysian boss. A different menu is released each week - preorders need to be made by Tuesday, and are picked up on the relevant day.

Have you tried a Cambodian donut, or noun kong? Chewier and crisper than the American style, they feature a lot of sesame and poppy seeds, with fillings of mung or yellow bean with coconut cream. Srena Sok, in Te Awamutu, makes to order via facebook, or text her on 021 029 35381.

The usual hospo stuff

Best Burger hands down the smash burger at Last Place. Best cocktail the gummy sour cocktail at Mr Pickles: delivers just the right amount of novelty on the classic sour flavour profile. Best kebab Turkish Express on Heaphy Terrace - our only beef is that unless you live in Fairfield it’s probably not on your way home from town. Special mention, also, to Sumac Turkish Kebab at Five Cross Roads. Best pizza we’ve mentioned The Crust before, but let us single out the quattro formaggi with provolone, parmesan, gorgonzola and mozzarella. Best ice cream I mean doy, it’s Duck Island, but a string of flavours have really knocked it out of the park recently - beginning with their feijoa yohgurt and lime in autumn, followed by their apricot, rosemary and labneh over winter, and now their marmalade and earl grey favour, which will bring your British friends to actual tears. Best vegetarian dish A special mention from our music editor Adam - the best fried cauliflower dish in the city is at Rice Noodle Master on Victoria street. Best korean fried chicken K kitchen in Dinsdale. They also nail a delicately diced coleslaw with a big fat dollop of mayo on top. Also in the Dinsdale takeaway precinct is Ciao Ceylon; the best authentic Sri Lankan food in Hamilton.

Upkeep

Best shoe repair space Merv, from McCammon and Co shoe repairs on Galloway street, is, sadly for him, a Christchurch Earthquake refugee - but we’re lucky to have him. Down a little driveway, he has a little studio outback - where mountains of leather and trimmings sit behind the counter. In a recession, in hard times, he reminds us, people get stuff fixed - and currently he is busy. If he can’t save a pair of boots, a handbag, or whatever - he strips it for their parts in case he can graft it onto another repair job (thus, the mountains). He also carries a small collection of knitting and leather booties for babies, dog neckerchiefs, and does key cutting too.

Best dry cleaner Vogue Dry Cleaners in Frankton.

Best clothing alterations Several recommendations came in (including from high-end fashion boutique True) for Susan Rowland, on Victoria street right next door and upstairs to the Time Out. Many people in the city only trust her for their alternations.

Best graphic designer You already know the work of Alan Deare of Area design - he’s behind Lucy’s bread marketing, and Duck Island’s branding (which has scooped him more than one design award). He works on small business and high-end art projects alike.

Best framing place Friend of the pod Laree Payne, of the eponymous gallery in Riverbank Lane complex, uses both Framing House in Hamilton East (in Lovegrove Lane), as well as Sarah Marston of Framing Workshop, in Silverdale. If you’re ever couriering art, or anything fragile or urgent, Laree uses Pack and Send and says asks for Kurt.

Best Hairdresser Of course Fabrik, again in the Riverbank Lane complex, do excellent cuts and colour - we all know this. I don’t know about you, but a good home salon always feels like a true find to me - and it was a shame when Poppies, in Melville (we found them via a rec' from the Farmers MAC counter) closed as those involved pursued other projects. Dede and Daph, in Frankton, fills this niche, excellently.

Best post shop - we had definite criteria for this one: ample parking, low wait times, best magazine wrack. The NZ Post Shop Glenview Centre fill all the criteria - and with the new bus hub (now! more disability friendly! after a total fuck up!) all the more accessible via a number of means.

Best daycare The Park on Naylor Street, which came to us via a friend who specialises in early education.

Best insurance broker Steve Freeman, of Financial Independence, is actually based in Tauranga - but qualifies for our list in this po-co, virtual-friendly world. As he nears retirement, increasingly he refers business to his colleague James Jenkin, at the same firm.

Best panel beater: Again, a recommendation from our music-writer-at-large, Adam, who says he sent more people to Restoration Panel Works in Frankton than anywhere else, for anything else, in Hamilton.

Best gym and swimming pool Across the road from the prison-yard of Les Mills, Fastlane fitness is like it’s grown up, more sophistocated cousin. The pool, certainly, avoids all the fuss (and generally children) of Te Rapa or Melville, and their strict swimming cap rule keeps the water pristine.

You seldom have to wait for a lane.

August #04

What makes a city feel like a city? It’s the ability, if you wanted to, to dry your duvet at a laundromat at 2am. It’s having a pharmacy that’s open til late. Or maybe it’s waiting less than 15m for a double decker bus, with a paperback folded into your trenchcoat pocket. Or, the ultimate test, is it having enough of a mainway so that now you have laneways?

If you’re single and dating, all you might be interested in is heading out the door with a handful of back-up conversation topics in your back pocket and knowing that whatever way it turns, you’ve got options. I met my boyfriend on a tinder date at Lazat, and the walk from upper Victoria Street to Wonderhorse, where we decided to take our night next, were the most blissful, exhilarating, easy 20 minutes of my life. Both of us have lived in bigger, more built up cities - but all that matter that night is that there was a place to go to next.

We all know the Wonderhorses, the Ernests, and the Duck Islands - all of which are reliable date-night fodder. But one of our single readers asked us for date ideas that weren’t a certain ice cream store (as much as we love it). And so we have a date night special - not just for singles, but all sorts of different interludes. We reckon we’ve got at least six weeks’ worth here, and after that you’re on your own; at least until you meet someone new and then you can roll the dice all over again.

In other news - the film festival, a Lego symposium (sorry, we mean, “Brick Show”), and the previous late-night favourite Riverbank Lane gets an early riser. And if you’re a little bit sporty we have American Footy, and the Dart Masters.

To all our new subscribers that have joined us over the last couple of issues - welcome! As always, send us your tips, tricks and picks to hello@thewaikatodraft.com.

Date Night Spesh

Hello Rosie’s vegan donut

Best sporty date: Callum Brae Pitch and Putt. More than minigolf but no where near an actual real golf course, it’s fun and not a big commitment if you don’t click with the person or if you turn out to suck at golf. We’ve heard that people bring along own drinks there, which sounds perfect on a sunny day.

Best guys/girls night: Shanghai in the Sky City complex. Zhejiang and Sichuan classics done well.

Best view of the river: Sure Gothenburg is beautiful, but have you see the balcony at Bowl and Social? Reasonably priced pints and surprisingly solid bar snacks available.

Best wholesome date: Rüdi’s (as we said earlier, are taking the old Duck Island’s place in Riverbank Lane) run sourdough workshops - they’re all sold out for now but keep an ear to the ground for more, especially given their new digs.

Best Vegan date: Hello Rosie in Casabella Lane.

Best smarty pants date: Poppies book store. Ask for Infinate Jest, or maybe some Joan Didion, in a loud, performative voice. Next door to the above.

Best Wine Bar: Lol, just kidding, we still don’t have one yet.

Best date night transport: Lime bike, obviously. You can flirt with the bell.

Best off-piste dumpling house: We might have to return to Dumpling King, in Silverdale, in another issue, because their dumplings are the business. Cheap, plentiful and an extremely moreish.

Best eat big date: Korean BBQ at Family House. Appetites are sexy and nothing quite breaks the ice like a beer, a soju, and a tableside grill.

Best to-go date: Crust is serving some of the best pizza in the city, but, alas, has precisely zero ambiance. Not to worry - grab a pizza and take it to one of the many secluded spots around the city, including the slopes around the water tower up high by the lake, or behind The Little Bull, by the glasshouses at the gardens, or one of them many park benches along the river.

Best other lake: The university grounds are beautiful and underrated. There’s no a whole lot else there unless you catch something at the Gallagher Academy of Performing Arts. A winner if your crush likes fancy music.

Best cinema: The Tivoli, in Cambridge, with a licence to booze and plenty of pretty.

For the morning after: Easy. Browsers, with coffee at Café Kopi.

Scuttlebutt

After – what was that? short weeks? – in the naughty corner for running red lights in Auckland (which readers will know Aucklanders regard as a sport), Te Huia thankfully is allowed back into the Strand again, from August 7.

A free pizza is just a netgun away as Dominos brings out drone pizza deliveries for Huntly. “If we can do it in Huntly," said SkyDrop founder Matthew Sweeny, “we can do it in any suburban location in New Zealand.” Invest now, perhaps?

Did you go to a Women’s World Cup match? You should have. But we found the post-match offerings in short walking distance pretty disappointing - we wanted a pint after a great time at the Vietnam vs Portugal game, but The Healm had already stopped pouring and Speight’s Ale House was completely shut.

This man has a veritable tropical orchard in his Hamilton backyard.

The Avalon Bakehouse’s bacon and egg pie has taken out top honours at the Bakels Supreme Pie Awards.

We’re quite taken by the Old Hamilton & Surrounding Districts Facebook page - it does what it says on the tin. Packed with old photos of Hamilton and its surrounds (and, curiously, lots of photos of old gas stations) with cameos from the Waipa Delta, the old Garden Place, and some of Hamilton’s best brutalist architecture on display.

The Meteor is looking for new trustees for its board.

And lastly check out the Kirikiriroa Metro substack; a cheat sheet for Hamilton city planning.

What’s on

Music

by Adam Fulton

Soft Bait

Heavy Chest LP release. 11th August. Last Place. Reverb laden indie pop from former Pōneke outfit, now based in Melbourne.

Soft Bait, KMTP, The Sour. 12th August. Last Place. Extremely refined post-punk group Soft Bait from Tāmaki Makaurau as part of their mid-winter tour. Joined by KMTP and The Sour.

Video Nasty, Static. 17th August. Nivara Lounge. Abrasive and chaotic grunge from Tāmaki Makaurau 3 piece Video Nasty as part of their nationwide tour. Supported by Static.

Film

by Jason Marshall

Whānau Mārama: New Zealand International Film Festival (NZIFF) kicks off on August 9th with screenings at the Lido until August 29th.

Our picks for the festival:

Reality. A dramatisation of the arrest and interrogation of US intelligence whistleblower Reality Winner, Reality sees a breakout performance from Sydney Sweeney. Screenings on the 21st and 22nd of August. Trailer.

How to Blow Up a Pipeline. A climate change polemic built like a heist thriller, How to Blow Up a Pipeline follows a disaffected crew of activists with an explosive solution to a nearby oil pipeline. “A matter-of-fact portrayal of the palpable anger emanating from a betrayed generation,” writes Clarisse Loughrey of the Independent. Screenings on the 12th, 16th, and 17th of August. Trailer.

Past Lives. A slow burn romantic drama about two childhood friends reconnecting after twenty years apart, Past Lives has been charming critics since its US release, with Ann Hornaday of the Washington Post calling it “a film that expertly holds back wellsprings of emotion, until it unleashes a deluge.” Screenings on the 11th and 12th of August. Trailer.

Greta Lee and Teo Yoo in Past Lives.

Outside of the festival:

The long awaited new Wes Anderson flick, Asteroid City, opens on August 10th. We’ve heard mixed things about it, but we’re still excited.

Theatre

by Louise Drummond

All I See. Saturday 5th August, 7pm-8pm. The Meteor. This is the unmissable show of the month. Cian Parker is amazingly talented, known for the amazing stories she tells. She's just returned from touring this piece in the UK and Serbia. All I See is a dance/theatre show performed by Cian and Mihailo Lađevac that tells the story of two bereaved friends who bond over their journeys of grief.

Hairspray. 12-26 August, 7.30pm (and some matinees). Riverlea Theatre. Most people have already heard of this 1960s Baltimore-set musical, thanks to the John Travolta movie, and judging by the cast (led by the very gifted Hannah Doherty), this is going to be a very fun night out!

Randy Feltface. 13th August, 7pm. Clarence St Theatre. A puppet who has performed in London and New York and been nominated for Best Comedy at Edinburgh Fringe is looking for your vote in politics.

Urban Hymns. 30th August - 2 September, 7.30pm. Meteor Theatre. A vibrant NZ play originally written by Mīria George for the Young and Hungry festival gets an outing, performed by the talented local crew of TAHI TA'I TASI. Urban Hymns tells the story of Joseph, who has suddenly been made redundant from his petrol station job in the middle of a recession. TTT's past work has been really impressive and their advocacy of Maori and Pasifika work is such a vital part of our theatre scene.

Food

The Cuisine Good Food Guide for 2023/2024 features a few Waikato favourites - Hayes Common, Alpino in Cambridge, and Mr Pickles. You can read it for yourself on August 7th.

Events

Keen to try out American football? The Hamilton Hawks are holding a muster on August 26th.

Alternatively, the Dart Masters are on at Claudelands on August 4 and 5.

The Hamilton Brick Show is on August 5 - 6, from 9am to 4pm, bring your little, or big, Lego lovers.

Hey, Sprechen Sie talk? The Waikato Goethe Society hosts their monthly German Talk event at The Helm on the last Wednesday of every month.

Contributors: Sylvia Giles, Jason Marshall, Adam Fulton (music), Louise Drummond (theatre), Jacob Sparrow (art director)

July #03

Well, importantly it’s Matariki, and obviously, and it’s the FIFA world cup. At the cinema, expect hot blondes and atomic bombs. We have two gigs out in Raglan that will leave you wondering why you don’t go out there more often for music. Where to get the best black pudding in the country. And there’s a hooking workshop at the library… whaaaaaat? Not really, but read on.

Have any tips for us? Flick us an email on hello@thewaikatodraft.com.

Scuttlebutt

The 20-minute city concept (now, that’s a precinct) has captured the wild imaginations of conspiracy theorists who’ve projected dystopian fever dreams onto an urban planning concept, and equate walkable neighbourhoods with living in an open air prison. This, from Feburary, is a good explainer from Jonah Franke (at Stuff) or read University of Waikato professor of environmental planning Iain White’s own op ed here.

Meanwhile last month at a meeting about 20 minute cities held by Hamilton Citizen and Ratepayers Association, and attended by Counterspin Media and an assortment of folks you could variously describe as the worst dinner party guests you’ve ever encountered. The meeting descended into anarchy; deputy mayor Angela O’Leary and councilor Mark Donovan fled the insanity after the mob presented them with a writ of execution and attempted to conduct a citizens arrest, which was after about 10 minutes. It is notable that councilor and National Party Hamilton East candidate Ryan Hamilton stuck around to talk about his record of voting against vaccine mandates.

What’s on

This origami workshop is at the museum, courtesy of the Waikato Japanese Community Trust.

Ice skating is on at Chartwell square for the holidays from now until July 14.

The FIFA Women’s World Cup kicks off in Hamilton on July 22nd with Zambia v Japan. For a full listing of matches and other events click here. If you aren’t attending the local matches in person, or want a matchday atmosphere for out of town games, go and watch the matches with food, drink and entertainment at the Claudelands Events Centre from July 20 to July 23rd. Our pick would be July 21 for the Philippines versus Switzerland match at 5pm, followed by glitter and make up session with local Queens.

Rototuna gets a new library built from scratch. But wtf is shirt latch hooking, and should you really be doing that in a library? Find out at this rug workshop at the Central branch.

Florists! The Waikato Horticultural Society presents Life in Floristy and Horticultre with Kate Jacobson—past patron of the NZ Society of Professional Florists - that’s at the Wintec classroom at the Hamilton Gardens.

Finally, for the thrill of a good bargain find, check out the Lions bookfare at Peachgrove stuff (July 6-8), and the Kidz Korner Toy library toy sale July 22.

Matariki

Deserving of its own section - and we’ve of the belief that the Waikato will become one of the places to spend it.

Te Parapara - New Zealand's only traditional Maaori productive garden at the Hamilton Gardens – is running free guided tours July 8-9, where you can learn about traditional, heirloom gardening techniques. You should book.

Ngaa Paki o Matariki 2023 is going to be the epic amalgamation of kapa haka, oratory, and art by Tainui rangatahi. There will also be stalls! They are expecting over 10,000 visitors, and may just be the biggest Matariki event in the country.

Meantime at the Zoo, until July 17, they are essentially running a Matariki savenger hunt - kids can find posts representing the seven stars, learn about their significance, and go into the draw to win a annual pass for two adults and up to four (four!) children.

Dr Oliver Macloud is discussing the geological mapping of Pirongia, the largest basaltic volcano in the North Island July 2. Make a paper koowhai 4-5 July when you take the kids to Exsite.

Music and gigs

compiled by Adam Fulton

Boom Boom Kid

Guardian Singles LP release tour. Last Place, 14th July. The perfect post-punk/power-pop band.

Calla: Last Place, 15th July. Intriguing operatic, electronic pop from Ōtepōti, sitting somewhere in the realm of Bjork, Joanna Newsome and Portishead.

Boom Boom Kid, The Yot Club Raglan. 15th July. Fuzzy, poppy punk from Argentina.

Jazmine Mary release tour. The Yard, Raglan, 28th July Most wondrous alternative folk from Tāmaki Makaurau. Jazmine Mary recently sold out two shows at the Wine Cellar.

Hans Pucket. Last Place, 29th July. Catchy guitar pop from Pōneke.

Film

Are you team Barbie or team Oppenheimer? Both films, with somewhat different vibes, open July 20th.

Great Scot! Te Awamutu’s iconic Regent Theatre are hosting a screening of Back to the Future on Friday July 7th at 7:00 pm.

Horror fan? Ever wanted to conjure wishes with an embalmed hand and then reap the terrifying consequences? Haven’t we all? Talk to Me has been generating a lot of buzz on the festival circuit, with the Australian horror romp garnering a 97% rating on Rotty Ts. Hoyts Metro have an advanced screening on Friday July 14th at 7:00 pm ahead of its wider release on the 27th.

See you at the movies!

Theatre

compiled by Louise Drummond

Fantastic Mr Fox; Riverlea Theatre, July 1-15, at 7pm, with 2pm matinees on Saturdays. Roald Dahl's much-loved story about a sly fox who triumphs over his human, curmudgeonly neighbours.

Te Awa: The Untold Pakiwaitara of Kirikiriroa The Meteor July 11-13, 10.30am
Carved from gifted stories from iwi and hapu with a connection to the Wintec marae Te Kopu Mania o Kirikiriroa; this is a 40-minute kids show also boasts the kind of polish afforded by a season touring around the rohē.

The Shit Kid; The Meteor July 13-14, 7.30pm. Shortlisted for the 2022 Adam NZ Play award, this is a tale of dressage and sibling rivalry, written and performed by Sarah Harpur (Kāi Tahu).

Wonderland Glow Show; Clarence St Theatre July 18, 10am & 11.30am. A ‘kiwified’ bilinguinal version of Alice in Wonderland, told with ultraviolet puppetry.

Closer, presented by One Question Theatre; The Meteor July 19-22, 7pm. Patrick Marber's classic '90s drama about a complex web of lust, relationships and deception spun by its four characters - realised in this production by an amazing cast.

Food and drink

Celebrate Bastille Day at Hayes Common where they’re basing their monthly neighbour eats event around it; with a three course meals and wine matches available.

While we’re excited about imports like Lord of the Fries to Hamilton East, so far the Made line looks Waikato originals and that’s exciting. We hear the development has been pushed back again to possibly September, and may only partially open. But there’s more to be excited about including a spirits store from the people behind Wonder Horse and Last Place that will also include takeaway cocktails. Great for by-the-river picnics, or when Gourmet at the Gardens starts back up.

Many of you will know of Te Awamutu butcher Shawn of Expleo. But have you tasted his black pudding? Get it delivered, or see them in person where they encourage you use your own container.

Contributors: Sylvia Giles, Jason Marshall, Adam Fulton (music), Louise Drummond (theatre), Jacob Sparrow (art director)

June #02

The fog’s really settled in now, but don’t let that stop you. This month we have Fieldays (obviously), the French Film Festival, Zine Fest and its afterparty; and dammit, Janet, if local darling The Rocky Horror Picture Show isn’t turning 50.

And if you’re new here: welcome! If you missed our last newsletter, the archive can be found here.

Have any tips for us? Flick us an email on hello@thewaikatodraft.com

Scuttlebutt

What do we all make of the Waikato Times paywall? It possibly makes this newsletter a little less clickable.

Meanwhile journalist extraordinaire Kirsty Johnson (we’re excited to see what she does next for RNZ) tweets on the mating dance of the Waikato: 

Te Huia numbers are now in full flight, as the service celebrates its 100,000th passenger. The Waikato Times asks: is Hamilton poised to eclipse Wellington and become Aotearoa’s fourth largest city? Maybe. It’s complicated.

Who can we blame for the perplexing decision to redo Pembroke street… so that it remains precisely the same as it always has been with no cycle lane? Baffling. Meanwhile, further downstream, the Glenview bus is not up to spec for people who mobilise with a wheelchair - but they’re fixing it.

Buy a seat at the new Waikato regional theatre, which hopes to be debt free at opening in 2024. Katiee_owennn on TikTok reviews Hamilton op shops (among other things). Because I asked nicely, Hamilton City Councillor Louise Hutt (whose also recently penned a piece for Ensemble on the politics of her work wardrobe) shared her knit pattern library with us. 

What’s on

Film

The French film festival kicks off this month at the Lido with a gala opening night (tickets $35). Highlights include:

The Origin of Evil: a woman’s reunion with her estranged father is interrupted by a power struggle for the family’s immense wealth, in a tangled thriller that has garnered comparisons to Succession.

Notre-Dame on Fire is a gripping boots-on-the-ground portrayal of firefighters trying to save Notre Dame cathedral during the 2019 fire.

And otherwise, it’s The Rocky Horror Picture Show’s 50th birthday this month (which I’m sure we won’t be allowed to forget). The Operatic Society have got this: June 29 they’re hosting a special screening at the Lido, complete with pre-match function, complimentary curated prop bag for audience participation, an award for best dressed and, naturally, a photobooth (because pics or it didn’t happen). All for exactly $34.05.

Theatre

By Louise Drummond

Horis In Space, presented by TAHI T'AI TASI. Meteor Theatre, 28th - 30th June at 7pm. Horis in Space is about finding meaning beyond the stars and finding your place among your whānau and friends. It’s the year 3023 on the planet Aotearoa, and avid classic video game enthusiast Kauri Roads meets an alien named Allen. Written by local Hamiltonian Michael Kerei (Tainui) and directed by award-winning playwright Benny Marama.

The Big Night Out; Meteor Theatre, 9th June at 7.30pm. A mid-year celebration from the talented students of the Wintec Te Pūkenga Music and Performing Arts degree. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to catch some of the brightest up-and-coming stars in the Kirkiriroa performing arts scene, in this one-night only event.

Downtown Musicals Jr, by the Hamilton Operatic Society. Meteor Theatre, 11th June at 4pm. The ‘Downtown Musicals’ Jr. sessions aim to provide a platform for rising theatre performers, aged 9 to 17, to help them gain experience and confidence singing in front of audiences. The Jr. sessions are wheelchair accessible and family friendly.

Music

By Adam Fulton

Synthetic Children, GTKB release tour. Last Place, 1st June. Synthetic Children is a solo act, performing eclectic electro/jungle/house, while GTKB are an instrumental “emo shoegazy rock” four-piece, with at least a one-member overlap with First Move. Both acts are from Te Papaioea.

Nervous Jerk album release tour. Last Place, 3rd June. Posi pop-punk from Ōtautahi. Supported by Melanie (noodly guitar stuff) and Static.

Zinefest Afterparty. Last Place, 10th June. Featuring Half/time, Static, Essa Ranapiri, and our pick-of-the-bunch P Wits – a mix of American primitivist guitar stuff and ambient drone.

Miscellaneous things

Cycling in Kirikiriroa in winter means fog and wet roads, so bring your analogue bike along to the Bike Hub for a tune up, in the Go Eco car park, Frankton, from 10am-12pm every Thursday to Saturday. Bring your kids and gumboots to Arbor Day (June 3) at Waiwhakareke Natural Heritage Park for their busiest planting day of the year. That evening, head indoors for comedian Guy Montgomery (Worst Idea of All Time podcast, Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont-Spelling Bee), who is doing a set at the Meteor June 3, for $30 - which seems far too cheap these days. And you’ve done the Hakarimata steps on a Saturday morning, but have you tried it after dark where you can see glowworms?

Fieldays

One word, and only one d - for those that have moved to town since we last had a real Fieldays, pre-covid. If you didn’t quite realise, Fieldays was this month (14 - 17 June 2023), you’ll know all about it by the time it starts. You can catch regional buses free of charge form Raglan, Cambridge, Te Awamutu, Paeroa, Te Aroha, Morrinsville, Huntly, Taumarunui, Te Kuiti and Tokoroa to the Hamilton Transport centre, and hop on the free bus to the event itself. Or, you know, use the helipad or arrive by boat from Tamahere like a totally normal person. Other highlights, even for townies, include the tractor pull and excavator competitions (plus there’s a lil’ mini digger kids can have a go on). And of course it’s also really a food festival in disguise. 

And guess what the modular unit of the Fieldays exhibitions is? That’s right, they are precincts.

Eating and drinking 

Our sources tell us the Made Market has been delayed and we are now taking August at the earliest.

We speak from recent experience when we say oysters, fries and whatever you’re drinking at Earnest is a great way to start your evening out.

For an evening in, we made a huge pot of mussels recently, which remain cheap – from Seafood Bazaar in Te Rapa. They also deliver Tuesday through Saturday.

Wonderhorse’s Whisky club meets this month on June 21. You can email your inquiry to alex@wonderhorse.co.nz

Contributors: Sylvia Giles, Jason Marshall, Louise Drummond (theatre), Adam Fulton (music)

May #01

Kia ora and welcome to our first, and May, edition of Waikato draft.

In a country full of summers, Kirikiriroa is an autumn. When the leaves start to fall, suddenly it matters much less that we lack the beaches that all other NZ cities boast. Autumn means fog, hot air balloons, stacking firewood. It means limes, feijoas, and people collecting chestnuts by the river. 

And as usual there’s plenty to see, eat and do… this month: why you should be taking notice of Hamilton’s high school theatre, revisit the 1980s Gallagher kidnapping, and the h-town wiki what it said about our music seen in the 00s – plus five of its epic pages.

What’s on

Film

British horror classic The Wicker Man, with Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee, is playing at the Hamilton Film society on May 8, at the Lido. Note: you need to be a member: details are at www.hamiltonfilmsociety.org. Also note: this is not the 2006 Nicolas Cage film of “not the bees!” fame. Hopefully they’ll consider that madcap Cage caper for its own special screening. 

Music

From next month…

Art

Those who know Hamilton’s coffee heritage trace it all back to The Vienna — run by WWI German-Jewish refugees Kurt Philips and his wife Trude. Kurt’s sister Margot, who was often seen waiting tables there, became well known in her own right for her Waikato landscapes. Her work is showing at the museum from May 12, until September. The Laree Payne Gallery has a solo exhibition by Laura Williams, titled From Arsenic to Found Grace (below), from Wednesday 3 May, or join them on Saturday 6 May from 11-3pm for coffee and donuts with the artist.

Laura Williams, Bonfire of the Vanities, 2023, Acrylic on board. 450mm H x 300mm W x 70mm D. Image courtesy of the artist and Laree Payne Gallery.

In person

Someone at the Hamilton City Council sure does love the word precinct — that’s how they’re describing a new shared entrance to both the zoo and the underrated Waiwhakereke Natural Heritage Park, which also has a new viewing platform. “Precinct” is also what the Gardens is calling their new development — although it really just looks like a new visitors’ centre and retail shop, but whatever. If they’re using the word to evoke a conscious lack of vehicle access, then that’s great. In the same neighbourhood as the zoo, the Astrological Society building got a new lick of paint. How much or why this matters at night we’re not sure, but good for them. They have their usual monthly public night May 3. Go, and peer into their high-magnification Total Perspective Vortex.

Lastly, the Waikato Role Playing Guild have a Morrinsville event they call, charmingly, Dice in Districts.

Theatre

1. Hamilton Operatic Society: Downtown Musicals. May 2, 2023, Nivara Lounge. Ham Op's Downtown Musicals nights, each a themed session, are a platform for up-and-coming theatre talents, those wishing to try something new, or people getting back into performing. This month performers will bringing their favourite comedic musical theatre songs to the stage for A Comedy Tonight. 

2. Love Belongs, performed by Fraser High School. 3-5th May, Clarence St Theatre. Hamilton's high schools are bursting with talent and their products are amongst the best in the city. (Recently, Hillcrest High School’s Pippin and Waikato Diocesan’s A Midsummer Night's Dream were both absolutely incredible). Fraser High's performance of Love Belongs is bound to be another example of talented high school theatre. 

3. Penny Ashton's Promise and Promiscuity. 6th May, Meteor Theatre. "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a theatre script must be in want of an audience." Penny Ashton parodies Jane Austen in this sharp and sparkling musical; an absolute laugh and a half. For the past ten years Penny has been touring the world with this show, and it shows. It's sharp and polished, and witty.

4. Dakota of the White Flats, performed by Red Leap Theatre. 10 - 13 May, Meteor Theatre. An adaptation of the novel by Philip Ridley, Dakota is a fearless 13-year-old, who lives in a bleak housing complex next to a polluted canal. With her best friend Treacle, a huge secret propels them across the water to the Broken Glass Fortress on Dog Island. Described as a "high-action, pulpy punk noir", it combines comedy, horror and live music, and is recommended for age 11+. 

5. Young Frankenstein, performed by Hamilton Musical Theatre. 13 - 27 May, Riverlea Theatre. Who doesn't love Mel Brooks?! This adaptation of Mel Brooks' successful film tells the story of Victor Frankenstein's grandson Frederick. With the help of his sidekick Igor, Frederick finds himself in the mad scientist shoes of his ancestor.

Compiled and written by Louise Drummond

On the web…

Hamilton Zoo’s record-breaking Sumatran tiger Mencari has died – a grand old dame at 23. Remind yourself of the strange chapter in Hamilton’s history when, in 1987, Jenny Gallagher was kidnapped with the demand of a $1m cash and $500,000 worth of uncut diamonds. Consent for two local solar power farms has been fast-tracked. You should also care about our neighbours at North Waikato’s Spring Hill prison - one of three facilities where ongoing Covid restrictions mean it’s been three years since prisoners had visitors. We’re enjoying friend of the pod (and former Nexus editor) Joshua Drummond’s Substack where he takes self improvement and “does journalism to it”, improving both it and us. In case you missed it, don’t chuck lithium batteries - commonly in vapes - into the recycling. All batteries can be dropped off for free to the Lincoln St Resource Recovery Centre. Who hasn’t thought about shimmying in the motorcycle parking when you nip in Duck Island? (But, don’t.) And the new ACC building on the corner of Collingwood and Tristram Street, built by Tainui Group Holdings, opened at the end of April.

Long[er] Reads

Modern Manners: feijoa edition

Autumn brings mountains of feijoas - and very quickly you just can’t even give the stuff away. So begins the ritual of staff room feijoa dumps - brought in in an unmarked bag in the early morning, remaining unclaimed when it starts to rot in the bottom. I did something similar when, in the original lockdown, my MIL sent us some of her grade A feijoas in the actual post. Some of them got forgotten about in the kitchen for months and were discovered after we moved out. Floor boards were softened. Don’t be that dick.

If you are the kind of person that likes feijoas but lacks a tree, those with surplus soon start circling, as if your name has been circulated on some kind of dark web somewhere. If you have a hint of the people pleaser about you or hate to see fruit go to waste you will soon have a problem. Learn to say no. There are plenty of freejoa roadside stalls and this seems win win for everybody.

And what of foraging? Only take what you need, leave no trace; don’t enter private property, even just a little bit. In the case of fruit overhanging the footpath from someone’s house - feijoas are fair game. If it’s a passionfruit, chuck it over.

The H-town wiki: a brief history

Google any aughties Hamilton music trivia and you’re bound to come across the h-town wiki. An incredible rabbit warren and chronicle to the Hamilton music scene, from the heady days of the “artists’ dole” (ahem, I’m sorry, the Pathway to Arts and Cultural Employment (PACE), which ran from 2001 to 2012), and when radio stations had a voluntary quota of 20% local music content.

One of its founders, Dan Satherley, says that actually two or three people really came up with the idea at the same time, around 2006, to fill a vacuum created by the demise of the contact/UFM/generator complex in 2003. (One of which is University of Waikato Associate Professor Ian Duggan - you can read about his musical extracurriculares  here).

“I don't think I was the only one, from memory, but having already started/been involved with other online things - like the egroup/YahooGroup email list in 2000, and then htown.co.nz [an online forum he ran from 2003 with a guy who's online name was “drift”, and who’s real name he’s since forgotten]… I guess I was the most likely to actually bother to do it.` Satherley also “80% ran” Hamilton zine Clinton from 2000 - 2001, which also faithfully documented the Hamilton music scene at that time (its back catalogue can be found, you guessed it, on the wiki), and worked for both UFM and then Generator (both, in that order, were iterations of what used to be contact fm, the original University of Waikato student radio station).

Satherley says there was nothing especially difficult or unique about what they were doing; just a willingness to set up and contribute to projects like the zine, the wiki, and the forum. “It honestly surprises me there weren't equivalents in other cities around New Zealand. All it took was having an idea, a willingness to act on it, and then someone who had the technical chops to carry it out, which by 2006, wasn't that hard anymore.

“None of us were so technically minded as to know how to even change the logo [of the wiki] - as you can see, 17 years later it's still the default image,” says Duran.

Peter Smith, who for a time was the bassist for Wellington band Family Cactus, often found himself in Hamilton because of his then-girlfriend, but specifically remembers the h-town wiki and how it captured the vibe of the scene; how it was different to Auckland and Wellington. “It made it seem like there was a positive, inclusive community in Hamilton. It didn’t really seem to matter that much who you were or what music you were making, people just liked that you were making music in Hamilton. Dynamo Go? Rad. Mobile Stud Unit? Awesome. Katchafire? Sweet.”

“It had an endearing combination of self-mythologising and self-deprecating,” he continues. “If your band had only played one show of covers? You could have a page, and you probably did… While Auckland and Wellington bands were probably writing their own pages on actual wikipedia, quoting Cheese On Toast reviews calling them ‘the new Strokes’ or whatever.”

Returning to Duran, perhaps some of motivation for the h-town wiki was a proverbial middle finger to these other scenes. “I think maybe the reason we went so hard was we had this impression that others saw Hamilton as a musical backwater,” he says, “and we wanted to prove them wrong. Auckland bands would come down often and get their arses handed to them by local bands, and we were wondering why our bands weren't getting coverage in the magazines. And by the early/mid 2000s most of us were online, and it was virtually cost-free, so we went for it.”

And unlike the myspace of the day, it’s all still there for our present-day enjoyment, and is infinitely more readable as a companion to the era. Duran continued to post to htown.co.nz even once he’d moved to Auckland, although this is the year, he says, where he will finally have been living in Auckland for longer than he was ever was in Hamilton (he moved here age 7). “As Datsuns producer Scott Newth once told me, you can leave Hamilton but you'll never get the stink out… I'm pretty sure my old Fender guitar amp in the garage has a UFM sticker on it,” he says, “and a 'student debt $5 billion' sticker, which shows its age..”

The five greatest H-town wiki pages

1. Issue 19 included a thinly-veiled takedown of UFM management of the day

2. “Borne out of everything from patriotism to derision, there have been a number of songs inspired by Hamilton.” They are compiled here.

3. Hamilton circle jerk was a long-running Hamilton event where Hamilton bands would cover each others’ songs. A later attempt to renamed it Harden up Ow was hopeless; the original name just stuck. 

4. Jed, whoever he is: “Cantankerous driving force behind Truckers Move America and The Sadie Hawkins Atom Bomb, and guitarist for SophieXEnola. Relocated to Wellington in a fit of pique.” We are all Jed.

5. RIP the Wailing Bongo. We still don’t understand their hack whereby they could serve alcohol to 18-year-olds prior to the law change, but sacred heart girls of a certain vintage will remember it well.

Contributors: Sylvia Giles, Jessica Begovich, Jason Marshall, Louise Drummond

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